The Sheldon Cooper Solidarity Enigma
by petthekat
Summary: The third and final part of my Penny/Sheldon series! Sheldon is attempting, as per his agreement with Penny, to find an available female with all the traits he believed Penny to be lacking - and Penny is forced to watch his progress. Or lack there of.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: BAM. I'm back, bab-ay. Ooh!

Okay, Futurama-verse Bender aside, I AM back and I'm going to be writing the third (and final) installment in my Penny/Sheldon series! For those of you who don't know, this is the third story to the wild tale of Penny and Sheldon. The first fic is called "Friends with Benefits" and the second is called "He Doesn't Provide Health Insurance." I don't suppose they're entirely necessary to read before this one, but it would help!

Anyway, here it is - Chapter One. Enjoy and thanks for reading!

Xxx

"Oh my God."

"What _now, _Sheldon?"

"There is a blinking cartoon heart directly next to my name - and it's luminous!"

Leonard Hofstadter peered over Sheldon's shoulder at the other man's computer screen, and he rolled his eyes. "That just means there's a new e-mail for you in your dating account!"

Sheldon turned to face Leonard, eyes narrowed. "Yes, thank you, I was able to discern that on my own. What I don't understand was how it got there. I just set up this account yesterday! And yet this glowing pink heart indicates that someone already wishes to speak with me, and possibly consummate a relationship with me in the act of coitus."

"What the hell kind of dating site did you sign up for, Sheldon? I don't really think anyone e-mailing you is looking for anything like that." Leonard opened the fridge in their apartment and pulled out a bottled water. "I really think you're going about this the wrong way, Sheldon. You and Penny have only been broken up for two days. Maybe you should just take a break."

Sheldon clicked out of the window without reading the e-mail.

"I will do no such thing. The entire reasoning behind our break-up was that I take the time to find someone else with romantic interest in me, so that I may ascertain the variables of which all relationships are _made from _and then see if such variables were common in both the new relationship and the old."

Leonard raised a brow as Sheldon moved away from his desk and stood, bustling around the living room.

"Oh, really? And you plan to .. What, challenge your own hypothesis? That you and Penny are not meant to be together?"

"Something like that," Sheldon said vaguely as he moved into the kitchen and pulled out milk, pouring it into a small glass and taking a sip. Leonard meandered over and paused at the kitchen bar, putting his elbows on it and leaning forward.

"And you don't miss Penny? Not at _all?" _

Sheldon stopped in his administrations, his eyes not shifting from where they were transfixed on his cup.

"No," he answered finally, and he set his cup in the sink and then walked away, disappearing into his room.

Xxx

6:42 P.M.

Sheldon sighed, checking his watch once more. Leonard, from his spot on the chair next to the couch, glanced up from the book he was reading and raised an eyebrow.

"Sheldon, your date isn't supposed to be here for another hour!"

"Well, how am I supposed to know she isn't one of those people who arrives an hour early, simply for the sake of not being late? What if she comes and I'm ill-prepared?" Sheldon immediately searched himself, looking petrified.

"Oh good Lord, I've misplaced the polyunsaturated hydrocarbon polymer contraceptive device!"

Leonard' s brows furrowed, and while he was instead mulling what his life had come to, Sheldon took the expression as confusion and went on, looking exasperated -

"_Condoms_."

"Yeah, I got that Sheldon, thanks," Leonard said, and Sheldon huffed. "Well, I can never tell! The facial expressions you exude are unhelpfully similar. One never knows if you're confused, unhappy, or constipated."

"Well, Sheldon, the chances are if I'm on the toilet, the correct expression would be -"

Knock knock knock. Both men turned towards the door of their apartment and the blonde head that popped in made Sheldon immediately turn his gaze down.

"Oh, hey guys.." Penny stepped in, standing at the door awkwardly for the moment. Leonard glances between Sheldon and Penny, betting that he could throw himself between them and land on a comfy hammock of palpable tension. He sighed inwardly and stepped forward, smiling at Penny.

"Hey Penny, what's up?"

Green eyes flickered over the skinny, suited form that was standing awkwardly in front of his computer desk. Penny watched him long enough that Leonard had to wave a hand at her to snap her out of it.

"Penny!"

"Oh, sorry.." A small laugh. "I was - actually just wondering if you could sign for a package for me, I, ah, should be out when it comes."

"Oh, yeah, of course." Leonard smiled again but Penny just nodded. She glanced at Sheldon once more and then, deciding she was going to be a big girl, she leaned past Leonard and spoke.

"You look nice, Sheldon. Going to an office party?"

Sheldon finally looked up, his reluctance physically obvious. Finally, he cleared his throat and shifted, his hands behind his back, fingers curled.

"Actually, Penny, I am practicing my side of the agreement we came too a few weeks ago. I am going on a - date."

Penny raised both brows. "Ah, are you now?" She asked, glancing at Leonard. The two exchanges vaguely amused glances, which Sheldon immediately caught and scowled at. "Excuse me, what exactly are those looks for? I'm gradually learning to discern the subtle expressions that the two of you exchange and I've found that most of them are ridiculously derisive." He dead-panned.

"I think you're being a little sensitive, Sheldon," Leonard said wryly, moving to pick up the television remote. He sat down on the couch and Sheldon rolled his eyes, huffing again. He glanced at Penny, and for a moment, their eyes met.

Penny watched him, and then finally, she folded her arms and took a step back.

"Alright, guys.." Penny opened the door. "I'll - I'll see you late. Good luck on your date, Sheldon."

"Thank you, Penny." Stiff.

The door shut, and Sheldon immediately looked away. Leonard glanced up at his roommate and tried to remember the last time he had ever seen his roommate so miserable.

Leonard frowned.

"Sheldon, maybe you should talk to -"

"I'm waiting downstairs."

And Sheldon slammed the door as he left.

Xxx

Sheldon had treated his endeavor to find another potential mate much as he did everything else - like a scientific experiment.

First, he had decided on the experiment and named it.

The Sheldon Cooper Solidarity Enigma.

When he'd told Leonard his name, Leonard had simply shaken his head and turned away, muttering something about - Yeah, some enigma.

Then Sheldon had decided on the question at hand.

Who, on this planet, has all the physical, mental, and emotional qualities that Penny, his previous mate, proved to be without, and which of these is the most important?

Next, Sheldon had to decide on a hypothesis.

"If I investigate," Sheldon said to Leonard as the other man stood next to the toilet, their conversation somewhat barred by the closed door, "into the available females of this area and find documentation of the proven qualities which Penny lacked, I will then be able to test them individually - in the format of a customary date procedure of course - and then I may pick the best of them, whichever exemplifies the qualities that I was missing with Penny, and then, logic dictates -" Sheldon held up in index finger, even though Leonard was staring at porcelain and couldn't see him, " - that I will then have found the most suitable mate for me." A pause. "Sheldon Cooper."

The sound of the toilet flushing and then Leonard walked out, house robe dragging on the floor.

"That's all I have to say about that plan," Leonard said dryly, the sound of the toilet fading away, leaving Sheldon baffled.

Xxx

Sheldon's first date was with eHarmony's IHeartSpock76, and Spock had dubbed her "The Logical One," given that she simply _had _to be as such, due to her obvious love of Spock. Her picture had been a little obscure - something about angled pictures apparently gave people the impression of attractiveness - but he sent her a message anyway and now here they were, meeting for the first time.

And at first, it wasn't so bad.

Certainly, Sheldon thought as he looked at her over a dinner table, she did not have the aesthetic beauty that Penny did. She had curly brown hair that might've been nice had it been tamed in a while, and something about her eyes gave Sheldon the impression that she'd spent the latter part of her life hanging upside down from some monkey bars.

Looking at passing cars.

Still, Sheldon believed he had no room to be making personal judgments on appearances, and besides, he was looking for things Penny had _lacked. _And beauty had not been one of those things, he reminded himself wryly, so, logically, it should not be something he looks for in his newest specimens.

At least, thought Sheldon, she loves Spock as much as I do.

So, because he could think of little else to say without resorting to the conversation starter cards he'd borrowed from Leonard, Sheldon folded his hands on the table and leaned forward eagerly.

"So, I understand you are as infatuated with the man known as Spock as I." He gave one of his awkward little guffaws. Spock delighted him so much. The entire planet could be set on fire and fed to a shark and Sheldon would still smile at the idea of Spock.

The woman nodded, giving her own quirky grin.

"Yeah, I do. I want to fuck him into next week."

Sheldon knocked over his glass.

The woman leaned forward, grinning even more. "You kinda look like him. You wanna dress up like Spock for me? Then we can do it over at your place and you can talk Vulcan to me."

Sheldon stared, his lips parted, his expression incredulous and insulted, and he leaned forward and spat -

"_Cosplay - is - serious - business!"_

That night, Sheldon was less "dropped off" at his apartment and more kicked out of the car in the ass with a booted foot.

_Xxx_

"So the date didn't go well?" Leonard asked, looking amused as he unscrewed the cap on his bottle of water. Sheldon jerked his head up, his expression absolutely aghast.

"She doesn't appreciate Spock for his logic! She just wants to - to sodomize him!" He shuddered.

Leonard grinned, and Howard leaned over, nearly spilled his Thai food on the floor.

"Hey Sheldon?"

"What, Wolowitz?"

A grin. "Can I borrow your Spock costume?"

Sheldon dead-panned. "Oh, I _do _hope you're joking. The only Star Trek costume you'd be properly suited for is that little alien creature that follows Engineer Scotty around in the 2009 feature film."

Sheldon turned back to his lunch, and Howard gestured wildly.

"Please tell me how he ever got laid."

Leonard sat down, shrugging and smirking. "I dunno, but when I figure it out, I'm contacting somebody because that oughta get me a Nobel prize."

"Or a government grant to build an access gate to whatever alternate dimension it _really did _happen in."

"Yeah, or that."

Sheldon glared at both of them, then all three glanced up at Raj as he burst in, nearly tripping over his khakis.

"Hey guys, sorry I'm late. My parents called to tell me that my sister has had her fifth son today, and apparently it is some sort of big deal. I didn't even know she was pregnant, but whatever." He paused.

"Oh, yeah, and Penny's out in the hall with some really handsome guy."

Everyone paused. Except for Raj, who moved to sit down.

Then Sheldon was the first to continue eating again, though much slower and with less enthusiasm than before. Howard sighed.

"Look at you, Sheldon, it's so obvious you're bothered by Penny being with other guys. I mean, I would be if I were you too. Seriously, you had a girlfriend - which, by the way, is remarkable enough - and she was totally hot - which still blows my mind to this day - AND she was actually into you."

Howard shook his head. "I mean, seriously, what the hell -"

"_Be. Silent." _

The entire room silenced for a moment after Sheldon's words slipped through his gritted teeth. The others stared, and slowly Sheldon composed himself. He moved forward and placed his Thai food on the table, then stood, leaving most of it uneaten.

"Penny .. Was and remains to be inappropriate for me in all manners of speaking. She is not intellectually advanced, she does not hold the same interests that I do, she does not understand my need for knowledge and science, and she does not accept what I say as truth."

Everyone stared up at him.

"Penny is an ill excuse for a mate - at least for me."

Then Sheldon turned and left the living room, where he dug out his secret copy of The Lake House and popped it into his DVD player.

Too bad, Sheldon thought, that no one really got snail mail anymore. Somehow, he imagined the effect would be far less romantic with a time-traveling inbox.

_xxx_


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: God, sorry it's been so long. I've been trying to figure out exactly how to go about this, and plus, I'm just plain lazy. But don't worry, I haven't given up!

Xxx

"Well, Sheldon, you've really baffled MY mind," Howard said, leaning back in his seat on the couch, just to the left of Sheldon's spot. The narrow man sashayed his way past Wolowitz and sank into his seat.

Sheldon quirked a brow. "Yes, and apparently it took such a marginal effort that I didn't even notice."

He spooned noodles into his mouth, and Howard slowly rolled his eyes. "What I was going to say is that I can't believe you've secured another date. And judging from the picture, she's pretty hot! I wonder why she needs an internet dating service."

"Maybe she has an anxiety that prohibits her from talking to attractive men," Raj put in, sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table. Howard pressed his fingers to his chin in thought. "So that's why she's going on a date with Sheldon.."

Sheldon gave them both hateful glares before he continued eating, and Leonard smirked from his place in his chair. "Hey, guys, come on. I'm glad Sheldon's dating again." A pause, and then as if he hadn't even said it - "Maybe I should pick up my previous engagement with Penny, now that Leslie and I have broken up."

All three men looked up when Sheldon's noodle carton crumpled into a soy-sauce soaked mess in his hands.

Silence.

"Uh, Sheldon -"

"Leonard," Sheldon slowly sat down his destroyed box as the other two scooted away from him warily. "You are, so I have been told, more socially adept than myself, and therefore I find it difficult to believe that you would be ignorant of the cardinal rule of friends."

Leonard raised a bushy brow. "Which is?" He asked, a mouthful of Thai food.

Sheldon narrowed his eyes. "The one in which it is specified, quite clearly, that friends do not quote "revisit their engagements" with those who had been romantically involved in the past with their own friends."

Leonard stared at him. "But I dated Penny long before you did! So technically it was YOU who broke the rule -"

"A mere technicality, a broken measure due to my brief ignorance, don't get used to it." Sheldon stood promptly, picking up his sodden box and tossing it in the garbage can. Leonard and the others followed his skinny form out and heard the shower turn on a few minutes later.

"What in the hell..?" Howard asked, and Raj immediately shrugged, not about to try and figure out what was going on. Leonard sighed, setting his box aside.

"Guys, we have to do something, I mean - He's obviously not over Penny."

"Well, he's the idiot that dumped her! There's nothing we can do about it," Howard said, leaning back again. Leonard sighed.

"And who's to say -" Raj put in, " - that Penny even wants him back? I wouldn't, after the way he acted."

Howard rolled his eyes. "God, you're so sensitive! This is just like the other day - "

"I am not overly sensitive and ..!"

Shaking his head, Leonard got up and strode out. His social circle was really becoming quite stifling.

Xxx

Date Number Two. This was the one that Sheldon had deemed "The Most Physically Attractive Woman that Will Ever Date Me Except for Penny."

He'd been a little lengthy with that one, but he'd been in a hurry.

Now this, this was what he needed. Obviously he wasn't going to find anyone near his level of intelligence, so he was instead going to have to find a girl that was aesthetically appealing enough to make up for it. After all, he was a man, right? Right. He could do this. Think with the little one, Sheldon.

Though, Sheldon thought as he stood outside waiting, even that brain must be smarter than the ones most people carried on their shoulders, judging from the people he saw on the street. Finally, after checking his watch compulsively, Sheldon looked up to see a black car pull up to the front of the apartment building, and a blond head leaned out.

"Hey there, sexy genius. You ready for this?"

Sheldon's eyes nearly bugged out of his head, and he thought about turning and fleeing right then. Because God, this woman - She was beautiful, that was for sure, but it was in sort of a .. plastic looking way. Kind of like how Sheldon used to stare at his model atoms in his room, just imagining what it would like to jump into matter and swim around in them, real and twinkling and -

Ooh, he was getting the shivers just thinking about it.

"Well, come on!" A honking horn snapped Sheldon out of his thoughts and he was immediately returned to the sight of a woman, a beautiful woman with enough cleavage to hide a family of Jews for an entire war, beckoning him to get in her car.

Finally, Sheldon slipped into the car.

Xxx

"Again, I do apologize for screaming in your car, but your speed was very alarming. Do you know there are engineers that get paid quite a lot of money to measure the amount of traffic on particular roads and use those variables as well as others to designate speeding limits?"

The blond - her name was Lucy, Sheldon believed - rolled her eyes and set down her menu.

"Are you going to keep going on about that? I already told you - It's a Firebird. It goes fast."

She picked up her menu again, and Sheldon shifted before looking at his own menu. "Sure, when you've got petrified feet of stone."

Lucy glanced up, glared, and then looked back at her menu. "So, Sheldon - What is it that you do, exactly?"

Sheldon looked up, enthused. "Ooh, I'm a neuro physicist," he said, looking rather pleased. "I study -"

"A physicist? Like - You give people physical therapy?"

Sheldon stared. Finally, with a long, bereaved sigh, he shook his head. "No, though if I were, I would be attempting to administer it to your brain right now in order to try and revive any sort of connectivity that must have been lost at birth."

Lucy raised a brow, and Sheldon continued swiftly.

"No, I study the world and all that it contains, essentially." Lucy gave an exaggerated 'Oooh.' Then -

"Haven't you ever wanted to do something exciting? You know - Like - Be a motocross rider?" She asked, and Sheldon stared once more, completely aghast.

"No, I have not - What in the world is it with people wanting me to do motocross? No, absolutely not. My work is actually very exciting. I live for it."

He sighed, then stood. "I apologize, but this is positively draining me of intellect as we speak, I'm sure my IQ has already plummeted into the mid 100's."

And with that, he got up and left, leaving a confused, busty woman pouting and nursing a cold beer until she could find some chap to go home with. So much for the skinny ones.

Sheldon swept out of the café and stopped, taking in the area for a moment before he remembered where the nearest bus stop was. On the way there, he couldn't help the brief thought that passed through his brilliant mind, even though he tried, tried his hardest to keep it at bay.

Penny had always thought his work was interesting.

Xxx

_Four months, three days, and twenty-two hours ago._

"Hey Sheldon?"

"Yes?"

"Are you really attached to any of these ties?"

Sheldon glanced back at Penny, who was poised at his door. Sheldon raised a brow. "Yes. The one on the left is one my mother gave me."

Penny held it up, turned it over, and then slung it over her shoulder. Okay, that one could stay.

"What about the others? Did your mom give you those, too?"

"Well, no -"

"Trashcan!" Penny joyfully dumped them all in one single swoop, and Sheldon sighed. Walking over, he pulled his one remaining tie off Penny's bare shoulder. She was just wearing a strapless bra and a pair of pajama pants, as she had just woken up, some four hours after Sheldon.

"Excuse me, how am I supposed to maintain a proper wardrobe with only one tie? And this one isn't reversible like some of the others, you realize." Sheldon arched a brow, and Penny grinned, taking the tie back and looping it around the back of Sheldon's neck. She used it to pull him closer, drawing them both close to the bed as she dropped down onto it. Sheldon, of course, had no choice to follow.

Wide-eyed stare or not.

As if he wasn't used to Penny's little escapades by now. And he really wasn't. It seemed new and unique each and every time. Certainly, he had never experienced such a stiff penis over a tie before.

"I'm sure we can do just fine with one.." Penny said, grinning as she used the silky material to pull Sheldon further, and the man pressed his hands on either side of her on the bed, his long legs pulling up onto the bed, settling on each side of her.

"I suppose there is merit to such a hypothesis," Sheldon conceded, finally reaching down and pressing his lips to hers, familiar softness that comforted him even when he'd had the longest, most stressful day (ie; when his burger had been prepared incorrectly).

Sheldon felt Penny's wandering hands push underneath his shirt, curling against the dark hair there that was so stark against his pale skin. He gave a little 'Ooh' and wiggled because Penny liked to tug on it and it made him positively crazy when she did it. In a good way. Or maybe a bad way. It depended on how much control he felt like handling over.

"Penny.." Sheldon murmured, and then he realized quickly that they were in his own bed, and his head dropped in exasperation because Oh God they couldn't have sex in HIS sheets.

Penny lifted her head and stared at him, then rolled her eyes. "Oh, God, Sheldon! They're sheets. You can wash them. You sleep in MY bed and we have sex in that one."

"I know, but that is your bed and this one is mine."

Penny stared at him hard for a moment, as if trying to decide if sex with him was even worth all of this. And then, abruptly, she reached up and cupped him through his pants.

Sheldon gave a very girlish little gasp.

"Fine," Penny said lightly. "We won't do it on your bed."

Sheldon blinked, "Then where -" He was immediately silenced by Penny's mouth, and the woman, younger than him but by God, she was so much more experienced, pushed them both off the bed and with kisses, touches, and outright grabs, she pulled Sheldon into the hallway bathroom, shut the door and then stepped into the shower.

Sheldon turned beet red. "But - That's the shower!"

"Yeah, I know, and if you claim THIS place isn't going to be clean enough for you, you're just shit outta luck." She reached over and quickly drew Sheldon into the bathroom, and it only took divesting herself of her bra and pajama pants before Sheldon immediately complied, shedding his own clothes and then pressing his bare chest against Penny's as the woman reached behind her and turned on the water.

Penny reached down and wrapped her fingers around his length, pulling up and down as Sheldon curled his arms, more powerful than they looked, around her form. He was going to tell her how dangerous this was, what with the slippery surfaces and the statistical data that overwhelmingly suggested frivolity in tubs was ill-fated -

But he didn't. Because Penny was holding him, pressed to him, and that was all he needed to know in those minutes. Briefly, as Penny sank to the floor of the tub and took Sheldon's aching member in her mouth, the scientist wondered what she'd done with his one tie.

Outside the bathroom, Leonard waltzed towards his room, not a care in the world. Until he saw the tie.

On the bathroom door.

"Oh, Sheldon, not in the BATHROOM!"

God strike him dead if he ever thought he'd have this problem.

-

And later that same night, as Sheldon and Penny, freshly washed, laid in Sheldon's nice, clean sheets, Penny glanced up at Sheldon's face.

"Do you have to work tomorrow?"

"Yes, I have a new project I'm working on and it requires nearly all of my attention."

Penny frowned a little, setting her head back down on Sheldon's chest. The scientist glanced down at her, then slowly reached up an uncertain hand, sweeping back her soft hair.

"I am sorry. I do know that you find my work to be unimportant." He didn't sound bitter, or even derogatory. He was simply stating facts. Incorrectly, for once.

Penny jerked her head up. "What? I don't think your work is unimportant, Sheldon! I think it's amazing. I mean, I can't understand any of it, and it's all way over my head, but .. " She laid her head back down on his chest. "I think it's great. You help people and things with your ideas.. You discover things no one else knows. You make sense of the whole world, using that huge brain of yours."

She gave a little shrug. "I only hope I can do something at least half as worthwhile someday."

Sheldon looked down at her, his fingers loosely curling in the tips of her hair, so that they slipped from his fingers in slow succession.

"You do," he said quietly.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: Here ya go! Thanks for the reviews. :D :D And to people who favorite but don't review - Aw, come on. Please? :3 Though I appreciate the fav nonetheless.

Xxx

Date Number Three. The one Sheldon had dubbed "The Scientist" for obvious reasons. Dr. Molly Hendrix, a forensic biologist from Caltech. Not the same department, obviously, but a scientist nonetheless. She wasn't overly attractive, but she wasn't bad looking either. Plus, Sheldon had had enough of pretty blondes and crazy redheads. A quiet, serious-minded brunette was just what he needed. And that was exactly what this woman seemed to be, judging from the Facebook page he'd stalked after Leonard had purposefully set him up.

For once, he appreciated the shorter man's efforts, even going so far as if to tell him that "if getting the Nobel prize were as easy as finding moderately attractive women available for coitus, he would actually have a shot."

Sheldon was befuddled when Leonard didn't seem overly grateful for the compliment.

Standing in front of a mirror in his room, he straightened his one and only tie and then shifted his jacket a little bit. All these dates. He really needed another jacket, because so far he'd worn the same one all three times. He'd borrow one of Leonard's, but he'd look like he was going for the "cropped" look and he didn't particularly want anyone thinking he'd got his jacket from the Hannah Montana section at Wal-Mart.

"Sheldon, your date's here!"

Shifting, taking in a deep breath and sliding his conversation cards into his pocket, the lanky scientist left his room and stepped into the living room, giving a sweeping nod to the curly-haired woman in his living room next to Leonard.

"Hello there, Doctor Hendrix."

"Salutations, Doctor Cooper," she said tonelessly, and Sheldon smirked. Ah, yes, this was going to go splendidly.

As Sheldon sat across from Dr. Molly Hendrix at the restaurant, occasionally waving his hand as the two of them spoke of the newest discoveries on advanced neurological diseases, Sheldon Cooper thought -

Yes, this was what Penny was lacking. Intellect. She wasn't stupid, Sheldon knew, even if right then he didn't want to think about any of her positive qualities. But she wasn't a scientist, and she certainly wasn't a genius, and THIS was what he needed.

Sheldon Cooper was pleased. This time - Third time's a charm.

"So, Dr. Hendrix -"

"Yes, Dr. Cooper?"

Sheldon blinked, then continued. "What are you opinions on comic books? Marvel or DC, though my particular favorites are from the DC universe. Still, Stan Lee does _remarkable _work -"

"Comic books?"

Sheldon stopped when the woman looked at him dubiously, and he flushed a little. "Well, yes. I realize they're not - academically important in any way -"

"They're not even relevant, Dr. Cooper. It is illogical to ..waste time reading illustrated tales of fancy," she said flatly. Sheldon pouted a little. He couldn't help it.

"But - I read academic works, too! I mean, all the time. And comic books have plenty of scientific merit, really! Some of the story lines are a little soap opera sometimes, but - but - The Flash!"

The woman exhaled loudly, waving a hand.

"Childish."

Sheldon stopped, blinking and pursing his lips. Dr. Hendrix continued.

"I've seen those people when I was in Baltimore doing a conference - some sort of - convention of sorts. Miserable youths and awkward adults that pull their lips off a shotgun barrel long enough to crawl out of their parent's basements and step out into the sunshine - wearing costumes, of all God awful things."

She raised a brow. Sheldon frowned.

"C-Costumes..?" He repeated. The woman nodded, oblivious to Sheldon's discomfort. "Yes, if you can believe such things. Dressed as comic book characters or - animated television personalities. Even that sort of oriental cartoon animation -"

"Anime." Sheldon was playing with the edge of the table cloth. The woman tilted her head and then gave a disbelieving little laugh. It didn't sound like she was actually amused. It sounded more like a cough.

"Do you participate in those sorts of things, Dr. Cooper?"

Sheldon twitched. "Perhaps.."

"Oh, Neptune above. How ridiculous. You should put your mind to useful things, Dr. Cooper, not ridiculously fantasized cartoons that hold no social or academic merit whatsoever."

"Who would do things like that," she continued scathingly. "Particularly in public?"

Sheldon finally looked up and raised both brows. "I do," he said flatly, then stood, putting down his napkin.

"_Thank _you very much, Dr. Hendrix. I hope you enjoy your - philistine lifestyle!"

A huff and then he left, and really, the waiter was beginning to wonder if that man was going to finish a single meal. He'd walked out the last three times in a row!

Xxx

Sheldon didn't feel like taking the bus, so he opted to walk home. He wanted time outside anyway, the cool air tended to settle his mind when he was troubled like now.

That woman had accused him of being CHILDISH! Of all things. As if Sheldon Cooper, PhD, could be childish. Ridiculous. Comic books were - innovative and fun and one of the few things he allowed himself to enjoy! And now she'd simply degraded him for it.

Sheldon scuffled his feet, kicking at a rock, his hands in his pockets. He glanced up at the street and then crossed it at a trot, stopping on the opposite sidewalk, watching the lights flash by and illuminate his background intermittently. His phone beeped, and he glanced at it.

How's it going?

From Leonard. Sheldon glanced at it, then sighed and slipped it back into his pocket. His jacket got caught on a fence in his distraction, and with a little whine he tried to tug it off, but ended up just ripping it and falling onto the sidewalk with the effort of his tug.

"Oh, good Lord!" Sheldon exclaimed angrily, pulling off his jacket, examining the hole, and then looking around. He saw a hobo sleeping on a bench, and Sheldon huffed up to him, dropped his jacket on the man's head, and then snapped -

"You're welcome. And I hope you were a seamstress before your house burned down in a liquor-fueled insurance scam."

Then he hurried off down the street, colder and even more pissed off.

He continued to follow the gate, his eyes blinded to everything around him as his mind fell into deep thought. He stopped at the end of the gate, blinking when he saw a playground on the edge of the park, empty swing set poised at the front.

A soft creak as the chains moved the plastic seat back and forth, and Sheldon frowned deeply, closing his blue eyes briefly.

Xxx

_One month, three works, and one day ago. _

"I would really like to know what this furtive business is all about," Sheldon said wryly, trying not to bump into things because really, if Penny was a seeing-eye dog, she'd be shot for lack of usefulness.

"Oh, hush, you keep acting like I'm going to lead you over a cliff or something," she said, tugging him further by his wrists. Sheldon felt the cool air on his face so he knew they were outside, but his blinded eyes - courtesy of one of Penny's scarves - told him nothing.

"Alright - Now, take off your blindfold!"

Sheldon reached up and took off the blindfold quickly, and then blinked when he realized they were in the park on Euclid Avenue. It was dark, some time past eight p.m., and there were few cars on the road because it was a calm Sunday evening.

"What - Why on Earth are we at the park, Penny?"

His girlfriend grinned, then pulled two items out of her back - two long, black capes, one of which she draped around Sheldon's skinny shoulders, and the other she put around her own shoulders.

"Remember what you said the other day, Sheldon?"

"You're going to have be more specific."

Penny smirked. "That you always wanted to fly?"

"Well, of course, who doesn't? And you know, I'm pretty close to a breakthrough on determining the exact variables it would take for flight to occur -"

"Well, I've already done the work for you," Penny interrupted, and Sheldon blinked at her. She reached up and took his hands, pulling him across the park to the playground, and then the swing set, where all the streetlights had died and only the luminous moon gave light.

Penny pressed a kiss to Sheldon's lips, then jumped up onto a swing. Moving back and forth, her feet in the swing, she gripped the bars and swung back as far as she could, her cape billowing in the wind behind her.

"Come on, Sheldon!"

Sheldon stared at her. Then, glancing uncertainly at the swing set, he raised a brow at her. Penny leapt from her swing and landed triumphantly in front of Sheldon, reaching up and curling her fingers in his cape and tugging him closer.

"Don't worry. If it falls, I'll catch you."

Sheldon watched her for a moment, his lips threatening to quirk at a smile. Then he stepped forward and climbed onto the swing next to Penny, and the blonde jumped up beside him.

"GO!" She exclaimed, and she and Sheldon immediately began pumping their legs back and forth, seeing who could go higher and higher, and Sheldon laughed because their capes were blowing behind them and Good God, they were going to break the damn swing set and going to get sued on top of having broken bones.

"We're going to jump, Sheldon! Are you ready?"

"What're you crazy?! We can't jump!" Sheldon shrieked, and Penny laughed. "Oh, come on! Sheldon!"

"Penny -"

"Sheldon, just let GO!"

The man stared at her, over next to him, rocking the iron bars with their bodies, and he wondered if she meant for him to - literally let go, to let loose of the swing and jump, or to let go in a more abstract and meaningful way.

Either way, he could only see her lips moving to the count, as if he couldn't hear it above the crashing in his ears and then at the same time, they let go of their swings and Sheldon was all limbs flying to the ground.

They landed at the same time, side by side, and both of them toppled over, falling into the dirt and grass and laughing loudly. Penny rolled over onto her back and continued to laugh, her cape curled around her, her hair growing darker with the dirt and muss.

Sheldon breathlessly pushed himself off, giving a disbelieving laugh, because he hadn't done that even when he was a KID, much less recently. He looked over at Penny and it only made him laugh more, actually laugh, because it was just so funny and ridiculous and exciting.

Smiling, her breaths moving her chest up and down, Penny extended a tired hand to Sheldon and he took it, scooting closer and, after a moment's thought, slowly moving his torso over her and simply watching her face, the dimples from her smile and the light in her eyes that couldn't have been artificial, because everyone outside of Penny was so horrifically dark.

"Thank you," Sheldon said quietly, and Penny smiled broadly.

"Thank _you.. _Superman," she said, reaching up and brushing her fingers through his short hair. Sheldon gave a little, almost shy smile, his blue eyes dropping to her neck and Penny curled her fingers next to his cheek.

They stayed there for almost an hour and a half, but they didn't get up and fly from the swings again.

There wasn't any higher place they could be.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note: Yaaaaaaay reviews. I'm so glad you guys are enjoying the story. I know you want Sheldon to hurry up and figure out that Penny's the right one for him, but he has to SUFFAAAA first. And maybe.. HE WON'T FIGURE OUT AT ALL?

I'm not making any promises. :x

Also, the song that goes with this chapter (I've secretly been picking out songs that get me in the mood for the chapters) is Nothing Wrong by Copper Wimmin. It's on imeem. Listen to it. It's heart breaking.

Xxx

Sheldon Cooper was frustrated.

If a fellow Science Fiction Lover, Brainless Beauty, OR Logical Doctor didn't fit into Sheldon's life, then who did? He simply could not wrap his mind around it. So he did what he always did -

He wrote it on his marker board.

Arms folded, covered by the sleeves of a purple undershirt, Sheldon shifted his weight as he looked at the chart he'd made. It simply didn't make sense. He'd isolated the variables, promoted identical environments, and studied the outcomes, and yet he had come to absolutely no conclusions at all.

This defied everything Sheldon Cooper knew about life.

Leonard's footsteps signaled his entrance into the living room, followed by a loud yawn which caused his jaw to crack.

"Sheldon, how long've you been up?" He asked in a grumble, fixing some coffee in the kitchen. Sheldon barely glanced up from his board.

"A few hours," was his simple answer. Leonard blinked, then went back to his coffee-making.

"Oh.. Working on something?"

Sheldon exhaled slowly. "Obviously."

The shorter scientist stared, then moved over to the island, where he leaned against it and peered over at Sheldon's board.

"You know, it's not gonna work."

Sheldon's blue eyes finally moved from his board to his roommates' face. "Leonard," he said in that tone that he always got when he felt what he was saying should be entirely unnecessary, "when I am in need of your educated opinion on an experiment, I'll be sure to consult a fifth grade science book."

He turned back to his board, and Leonard sighed, pouring his coffee into a cup.

"Yeah, okay, except that YOUR problem - isn't scientific." He rolled his eyes. "What the hell do you think you're gonna accomplish with all this? Quantitative proof that you're NOT an idiot for dumping Penny?"

Sheldon whirled around, looking a little surprised at Leonard's words. Normally, his roommate was a little more - subtle - than that. Or maybe Sheldon just thought that because everyone was seen through a haze of social ineptitude for the poor man.

"Something like that, yes," he said finally, his tone icy. He started to move into the living room and continued to speak.

"I'll have you know that Penny lacked several vital traits necessary for MY significant other. She is not overly intelligent, she has the attention span of a sand flea, she has no sense of responsibility, financial management, or house-keeping, and -"

"And you totally and completely love her," Leonard finished flatly. Sheldon turned and stared, blue eyes narrowing in that infamous, dramatic glare that no one else but Sheldon Cooper could pull off with any sense of dignity.

Leonard didn't stop, though. He was tired of this.

"You do realize what you're doing, right, Sheldon? You're demonizing Penny to make yourself feel better for what you're doing to her!" Leonard exclaimed, setting down his coffee and crossing the living room.

"Well, I think it's - really stupid. I think you're stupid."

Sheldon stared, head tilted. No one had ever called him stupid. Skinny, dorky, weird, rude, and melodramatic, sure. But not stupid.

"Yeah.. So - there," Leonard finished a bit anti-climatically. Then he grabbed his coffee and hurried into his room, leaving a very unhappy Sheldon Cooper in his wake.

Xxx

Meanwhile, Penny was sitting in her apartment, staring blankly at the television. These past two months had been hell.

At first, everything had been alright, and that chipper part of Penny had thought - Sure, I can just go on with my normal routine. He'll come around eventually.

Then that mentality slipped into -

Who needs him? I'm strong. I'm an independent Nebraskan woman, damnit!

And then that had crashed abruptly into a wall of -

God, I miss him so much it hurts.

Love shouldn't have to be something you prove, Penny thought bitterly. That was the problem with these damn scientists. They were always looking for facts and never taking anything for how it _felt _to them.

Sure, she could have tried dating other guys while Sheldon was out and about - She'd seen that one guy, and they'd gone on a date -

But it felt completely and utterly wrong. She'd already told him -

You make me happier than anyone else.

And unlike Sheldon Cooper, Penny didn't need a damn white-board to know it was true.

Xxx

_Two months, one week, and four days ago. _

It was the first time Sheldon had ever told her anything definitive about his father. It had been random, just another normal day for the couple as they sat in front of the television in his apartment, watching Battlestar Galactica re-runs.

Suddenly, Sheldon had shifted in his spot on the couch and said -

"My father never thought I was special."

Penny's brows furrowed and she shifted her head up, and Sheldon was staring straight-ahead at the screen as though he hadn't spoken. But Penny knew that expression, had seen it once before when Sheldon had spoken those words that let her know for the first time that he really was a feeling human.

_I am so far behind the scenes that no one can even see me anymore. _

And Penny had curled her arms around him and murmured in reply -

_I can see you, Sheldon._

And that was what she did now, slipping her thin arms around Sheldon's waist and pressing her warm body close.

"I'm sure he did, Sheldon," she replied softly, and the man paused for the barest moment before glancing over at her with a raised brow.

"Am I to trust your word or his?"

Penny blinked and frowned. "He actually said that? That he didn't think you were special?"

Sheldon seemed to think carefully, his breathing very short and even as he shifted in his seat, turning his gaze towards Penny. "Once," he said very quietly, "when I was a child, and I had .. Graduated from high school -"

Penny raised a brow at him wryly.

" - I went to my father and asked.." A pause. "I asked him if he would .. Stand with me on stage, whenever I got my diploma, because I was frightened of being in front of so many people. And do you know what he told me?"

Penny tilted her head slowly.

Blue eyes flickered somewhat coldly, and Sheldon said -

"He would rather .. Give me a military _funeral, _like a 'real man' would take, than walk me across a stage I do not deserve to be on."

Penny stared, her lips parted and her brows furrowed. "But - what the hell? How could he SAY that, Sheldon? You deserved - more than any of those people - I mean, you're a genius!"

"Precisely," Sheldon said quietly, turning his gaze back to the screen. "My mother embraced it. My siblings tolerated it. And my father hated it."

Dark brows over blue eyes crinkled. "He thought it was.. Unnatural and .. Too atypical to prove of any use."

Sheldon's fingers curled on his neatly pressed slacks.

"He didn't even come."

Penny continued to stare, blond curls falling over one shoulder at the tilt of her head, and finally she reached for the remote, clicked off the television, and then took Sheldon's narrow chin in her fingertips. She pressed her soft lips to his.

"Sheldon, there's nothing wrong with you. Some people just don't understand you, that's all."

Sheldon pursed his lips quietly, blue eyes dropping and looking away.

"It must be the result of a mutual confusion," he said.

Xxx

It was storming outside, and Penny couldn't help but think - God, it's just like that day, when I rushed home from work, tired and hot and WET on top of everything else, and then she'd opened the door and -

Voila. There was her Superman. Or, well, more accurately, her Robin. But really, Sheldon was fit for either role, even if he didn't seem to think so.

It was these thoughts that warmed her as she climbed the stairs, shaking out her Hello Kitty umbrella, but she knew there was going to come a time very soon where the thoughts would fade, the feelings would subside, and the inevitable sensation of crashing would come, like after a long night of caffeine.

Unfortunately, this occurred much more quickly than she had anticipated, because no sooner had she stepped onto the third floor landing than she heard laughter up above, echoing down the staircase like a falling slinky.

Women's laughter. Faintly familiar.

"Sheldon - I mean, are you SURE?" Leonard was asking, and when Penny stepped up to the fourth floor, she saw why the man sounded so hesitant and - well, frightened.

Standing next to Sheldon Cooper was Ramona. The grad-student who had worshipped the ground Sheldon walked on, who had spent night after night hovering over his shoulder in her ex-boyfriend's apartment, giggling at his jokes and using her big brain to follow every single thing Sheldon said.

"Yes, Leonard, I am quite certain. Now, if you'll excuse us -"

Sheldon turned to the staircase, a giggling redhead at his side, and stopped quite suddenly at the appearance of an aghast Penny.

"Oh, hello, .. _Penny,"_ Ramona quipped, amusement obvious in her tone. She slipped an arm through Sheldon's and positively beamed.

"Dr. Coop - I mean, Sheldon.." Her grin grew even more and threatened to crack her pale face. " .. and I are going out to dinner. Isn't that great?" A raised brow.

Penny finally managed to reel in her expression, though nothing could stop the growing lump in her throat that threatened to drop into her chest and tear her heart to pieces.

Of all people.. Ramona?

Penny shifted, sucking in a deep breath and managing a little smile. "Yeah.. Great. You guys have a good time," she said, and honestly, she had never, ever had to step aside for another girl.

_She _had always been that girl. The beautiful girl next door, the charming blond with the cute smile and great body. The one hanging on the arm of a newly single male that chose her, HER, God damnit, and this wasn't even like all those times, because this was Sheldon! This was HER Sheldon and she'd been the first to ever see through his damn façade, really SEE -

"Well, see you guys later!"

The cheery quip suddenly broke through Penny's mental tirade, something that Sheldon seemed to see through her flickering green eyes. He'd said nothing to Penny this whole time, and now, with a look that couldn't be anything but utter shame, he pulled Ramona closer and side-stepped Penny, who closed her eyes tightly as the couple passed.

Leonard, Raj, and even Howard looked apologetic.

When Penny re-opened her eyes, misery pressed past her lids and slipped onto the floor, unwilling to remain hidden any longer.


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Note: Gahh you guys keep inspiring me to write so much!

Squibalicious - Thanks for the comment. :D It inspired me to write more about Sheldon's feelings in this chapter, because up until now, I've essentially left them up in the air. Don't worry, though, he IS suffering. Unfortunately, like the good little Vulcan he is, he isn't showing his pain nearly as much as Penny is.

Until NOW!

Also, the lovely Panda Hallows sent me the song "Perfect" by Midtown, which is the very essence of this fic. I highly recommend looking it up.

Xxx

There were a lot of things about Sheldon Cooper's life that he honestly hadn't thought would be an issue at the age of thirty.

For one, he still hadn't won a Nobel prize, no matter how amazingly close he'd come several times before.

For another, he lived in a two-bedroom apartment. With a man.

And perhaps the most distressing of all was that, in all of his years of intellectual pursuits and inner-speculation, he had never, ever thought that he would be standing next to a reasonably attractive woman who nearly matched him in intellect and love for science, and yet not be entirely happy.

Oh, sure, he had never really thought he'd be this close to ANY woman - save for the time Big Rhonda dunked his head in the toilet at school - but over the past few years, he had become more accustomed to the idea of a romantic relationship. After all, the physical compulsion was there, and if Leonard could do it, certainly he could.

Then again, Leonard seemed to be having about as much luck with his romantic endeavors as Sheldon, so it was very likely that their living arrangement would continue on into their sixties.

God damnit.

"Sheldon? Sheldon! Dr. Cooper!"

Blue eyes blinked suddenly and his gaze returned to the young woman in front of him, leaning oddly over the table with her long neck bent at a peculiar angle.

"Are you alright? Is your brilliant mind working on a complex scientific problem?" she asked excitedly, and Sheldon raised a brow.

"Yes, I suppose you could say that," he said mildly. Ramona smiled, pleased, and then began to cut up his food for him. She was essentially treating him like she had the first time, with a doting sort of admiration that part of Sheldon really actually quite liked.

This, he decided, was something he could live with. The one time he'd tried to make Penny cut up his food, she'd dumped it in the blender and told him to "have at it" whatever that meant.

Yes, Sheldon decided with a slow smile, this would be adequate.

Not invaluable, but simply .. Adequate.

Xxx

There was something amazingly soothing about performing complicated Euclidean formulas, Sheldon thought, his eyes moving over his board thoughtfully. The past few days had been utterly pleasant. Ramona had catered to his every whim. She was insightful, intelligent, and best of all, she adored him.

Certainly she had enough genuine affection for the both of them.

"Dr. Cooper?"

Sheldon lifted his gaze to his door, and blinked when he saw Ramona peeking in. She beamed.

"Hey my brilliant, handsome, amazing, perfect scientist." She sauntered into the room and Sheldon's brows furrowed.

"How did you get in here? I had the door locked so the foreign cleaning ladies would cease coming in and using the cheap disinfectant on my cabinets." Honestly, good help. It was impossible to find, not just hard.

"Oh, I picked the lock," Ramona said mildly, twisting her hands in front of her. Sheldon raised a brow and then slowly returned to his board. It was then that he noticed his blank, nondescript door. He paused, his marker tip on the white board.

"What happened to my door?" He asked suddenly, turning to face the red-head. Ramona blinked, then smiled widely.

"Oh, I took down all those silly, obnoxious decorations. Didn't your _ex-_girlfriend put those up anyway?"

Sheldon narrowed his eyes slowly, but Ramona, obviously as inept at reading social cues as the man standing with her, continued on blithely.

"They were no doubt inhibiting your great structural mind by being blatant, brightly-colored distractions. And the other staff also thought they were ridiculous, of course, and you wouldn't want you co-workers to think little of you, would you?"

Sheldon didn't respond. He placed his marker down on the edge of his desk and simply stared at the calculations, as if they could solve his more abstract problems. If only they could. Sheldon would be the next Oprah.

"Why should I care what my co-workers think," Sheldon asked finally, eyes still on his board. "They are, after all, all inferior to me."

Ramona gave a hesitant, uncertain chuckle. "Well, yeah, of course. I mean, you're the smartest person here! In - in the world, even!" A pause. "But you wouldn't want to be ignored, would you?"

Sheldon blinked and slowly looked over at her. "Ignored?"

Ramona nodded. "Yeah, I mean, if they don't respect you, you're just going to fade out of the realm of greatness. No one will be able to see you anymore," she said earnestly, grabbing his arm.

"Sheldon, you are on the highest pedestal in the world because of your boundless brilliance!" Ramona said enthusiastically, her face beaming up at his.

"You don't want to be invisible, do you?"

Sheldon's blue eyes shifted slowly from Ramona back to his board, and the familiar handwriting blurred.

"No.." Sheldon murmured, the slightest tremble to his voice. "I do not."

Xxx

_One month and two days ago._

"Penny?"

"Yeah, Sheldon?"

"I love you."

A smile.

"I love you , too."

Xxx

Sheldon, Raj, Howard, and Leonard all sat around the television, watching Star Trek III: Wrath of Khan. However, they'd only gotten an hour into the movie before the door to the apartment swung open suddenly and in came Ramona. The three other guys groaned quietly, and Sheldon shot them a glare before standing.

"Ramona, I thought you were going home this weekend."

The redhead gave a delighted smile and shrugged her shoulders. "I decided to stay - just for you!" She glanced at the t.v. and then raised a brow, putting a hand on her hip.

"Movies? Again, Sheldon?"

"Yes, well, as it so happens there are devices available now which can record them and make them available at any point in time -"

"Look, I brought you Chinese!" Moving past the boys, she settled the food onto the counter. Howard made a face and Raj leaned over, whispering quickly into his ear. Howard snickered, and immediately Ramona shot them both a look.

"Excuse me, but the two of you are going to have to stop your chattering. If Sheldon is going to watch television, he will at LEAST be enriching his mind with this set of recorded physics lectures I checked out from the library."

"But we were watching Star Trek!" Howard protested, and Ramona raised both brows.

"Don't you two have your OWN homes?" She asked, and Raj leaned over and whispered to Howard, who immediately muttered back, "Yeah, in a burning lake of lava."

More glares were exchanged, but finally Leonard retreated to his room - "I can't take this -" and Howard and Raj left.

Sheldon looked around the living room. All his friends had gone. What the hell?

Ramona quickly settled next to him and smiled, setting out his food. "See, I made certain that the chicken is diced, don't you like it?"

Sheldon stared at her. She had the ability to clear a room faster than Leonard after three helpings of cheesecake.

He sighed quietly and began to eat, his doting, large-eyed girlfriend sitting next to him all the while, stroking his ego - among other things.

(The other things being his brain, of course.)

Xxx

"So," Penny said wryly, stretched out on her couch while Leonard worked on repairing her laptop. "How's Dr. Dumbass and Anne of Green Gables working out?"

Not bitter. Not at all.

Leonard groaned. "God, it's terrible. They've been 'together' for two weeks and she's always around!" He turned to face her. "Do you know she left me a sticky note on my own sink, instructing me on the proper dish washing procedures? That's a Sheldon move!"

Penny winced. "Ouch."

"Yeah, and NOW she's telling me that I need to switch rooms with Sheldon, because apparently the draft that comes through his bedroom is causing his neurons to misfire or something, I don't _know." _

He sighed and straightened, leaning against the back of the chair. "It's just.. Miserable."

"Tell me about it," Penny said quietly, twirling an empty Diet Coke can in her hand. Leonard lifted his head a little and gave her a sympathetic look for a long moment before he said quietly -

"I really think he still loves you, you know."

Penny made a disbelieving noise. "I find that difficult to believe, what with Annie the Genius Orphan all over him." She shook her head, rising and beginning to throw some stuff away.

"I mean, she's - everything Sheldon needs, Leonard. She's smart, she's pretty, she's totally obsessed with him. She'll treat him like a freaking God. She's.. She's -"

"She's not you," Leonard pointed out quietly.

A long pause.

Penny slowly leaned against her island counter, elbows supporting her weakly. "Yeah.." Soft. "But I guess being me isn't enough, is it?"

"Penny.. I really don't think it's like that. If you could just see Sheldon, how he's really feeling -"

"Leonard!" Penny held up a hand. "Just.. Don't, okay? Why I ever.. Got involved with Sheldon is beyond me, I mean.."

She sank onto her blue-green couch, which held enough of its own memories to make her cringe.

"I mean, he's… he's not the guy for me," she said softly, with a little disbelieving smile. It looked crooked and uncomfortable on her face.

"He's a genius."

Leonard shifted a bit. "He's a genius to everyone else. He's more than that to you."

Green eyes flickered, and Penny looked up at Leonard. She inhaled - stopped short, and it caught in her chest.

"Leonard.. Why is he fighting this so hard?" She asked, and her voice threatened to crumble. Leonard frowned and moved over, sliding a sympathetic arm around her shoulders.

"I .. think Sheldon is doing this because … this is the first time in his life where he hasn't been the one with all the answers," Leonard answered finally. "The kind'a thing you and he had.. - have .. It's .. not quantifiable," Leonard supplied.

"It's not something he can grasp. That doesn't mean it's not there."

Penny closed her eyes and pressed her fingertips there.

"He would know.. If he wanted to be with me."

Leonard raised a brow. "What makes you think that? If you lived in the 1600's, would you know that you wanted television?"

Penny looked up, an eyebrow raised over her shining eyes. Leonard shifted and elaborated.

"You can't have a desire for something that you've never experienced, and even if you have it, what makes you think you'd know it?"

Penny shook her head a little. "I don't think I want him to know it anymore," she said quietly. "Not after all this."

Leonard's brows furrowed. "But.. Penny, he's -"

"He's killing me."

Leonard blinked. He dropped his gaze for a long moment. "Penny.. Do you know what he did yesterday?"

Green eyes, blanker than they had any right to be, looked over and sat underneath a raised, questioning brow. Leonard leaned forward.

"He forgot to _shower." _

Penny blinked, her face scrunching a little. "Wh.. What?" Incredulous. "You've gotta be kidding me. Sheldon showers twice a day, ALWAYS at 8:10 AM and -"

" - And 9:30 P.M., I know! But he just - .. Didn't, yesterday." Leonard stood slowly. "He's out of sorts without you, Penny. He hates it."

Leonard turned towards the door, and Penny gave him the slightest smile, turning her gaze back to her intertwined hands.

"Yeah.." she said softly. "Me too._" _


	6. Chapter 6

-1Author's Note: Here it is, guys! (Finally, I know). The final chapter to the FINAL part of the Penny/Sheldon trilogy, which started with Friends with Benefits, continued with He Doesn't Provide Health Insurance, and finally ends here, with The Sheldon Cooper Solidarity Experiment.

Thank you so much to you guys who read and reviewed. It means the world to me, and I hope you guys approve of the ending. I've been uber inspired by the last few episodes of BBT this season. :3

Yes, Sheldon. You must.. Help Penny.. Into bed.

One more note: While reading this chapter, you MUST listen to Joshua Radin's "Everything'll Be alright." The lyrics are used in the chapter and they're.. well, pretty damn fitting.

Xxx

They'd had this great fight once.

Not Penny and Sheldon, but Penny and Lee, that stupid brute, a member of the Penny's Ex-Boyfriend Society. Penny, the perpetual tease, the constant magnet for dumb assholes who thought it was okay to cheat on her just because she was too blond and stupid to figure it out.

Well, despite ample evidence to the contrary, Penny _did _have a brain that was given some air every _once _in a while, and she proved it when she finally dumped Lee one sweltering hot summer day, the second one she spent in her Pasadena apartment.

Now, let's make one thing very clear: Penny may not have been stupid, and she certainly wasn't incapable of taking care of herself, but her most profound weakness, her greatest flaw, was still that she earnestly desired the approval and company of others.

Which was why she instantly sought to boost her withering self-esteem by going over to 4A, hoping to have the guys languishing over her, falling all over themselves to get her a drink or tell her what an idiot her ex was, because they'd do her in a split second. And sure, Penny would scoff and wave a hand and thump Howard in the head with a manicured nail, but that was what she came there for.

Back then, anyway.

But on that agonizingly hot day, Penny had burst into the apartment only to find Sheldon Cooper, hunched over his computer - where else? - with a deep look of concentration. Penny looked around and saw there was no one else there, and instantly, she felt deflated.

"Damnit," She said, shutting the door behind her and stalking in only to sink onto the couch just to the right of Sheldon's spot.

Blue eyes flickered up, annoyed, cutting to the side before returning to the bright glow of his computer screen.

"Hello, Penny," Sheldon said with enough extension in his words to make it absolutely clear that he was being sarcastic and didn't wish to welcome her at all. Penny shot him a Look.

"My stupid fucking boyfriend was cheating on me."

Sheldon's fingers continued to glide over the keys.

"Is that a recent development or have I been successful in my attempts to ignore your conversations before?"

Penny sat up and scowled. "It's a recent development, Sheldon! Christ, I just had, like, the worst day ever, and you're still being an asshole."

Sheldon sighed heavily and turned in his chair, watching her carefully.

"Penny, if you came seeking comfort from me, you were obviously misguided. Even if I wanted to give comfort, I am physically incapable of doing so." He turned back to his computer. "My father made _sure _of that," he added in a mutter.

Penny pursed her lips.

"I thought Leonard might be here."

"Well, he's not," Sheldon answered quickly, hoping she would leave. He and Penny were - tentatively friends at this point, but seeing her emotional always made him feel very uncomfortable, because he wasn't lying when he said he was incapable of comfort. He hated not knowing what to do, and around Penny, that was a constant feeling.

Perhaps that was why he was always so antagonistic towards her, some part of his brain said. The other part was still on an eBay war with a twelve-year-old punk who wanted to buy his Spock statuette. How the hell could that kid afford a one hundred dollar miniature _any _way?

Penny was quiet for a long moment, and Sheldon gave a little sigh of relief, thinking her debacle was over and that he was free from what he assumed were the duties of average human companions.

And then he heard it - and his shoulders stiffened.

She was crying.

Sheldon stared at his screen, listening to the little, half-stifled sniffles. Maybe he could just - pretend he didn't know - and then maybe she would just dis -

Ah, damn his mother's God.

Sheldon turned in his computer chair, hand closing over the back of it, and looked at Penny. As soon as the blond saw him turn, she stiffened and stood, wiping at her face.

"I know, don't say it, I'll go." She stood and swept towards the door, and Sheldon panicked briefly before standing, closing his hands behind him as he cleared his throat.

"Penny, wait!"

She turned, eyes clouded with tears of frustration, and Sheldon flushed a little and looked down. He wished she wouldn't look at him that way.

"Penny, I.. I am given to understand that humans with your - current emotional state are best kept under supervision for purposes of .. Healthy mentality and overall physical safety."

Penny's brow furrowed, so Sheldon elaborated flatly -

"I wish to make sure you aren't going to kill yourself in the apartment next to mine."

Penny dead-panned, turning towards the door again, but Sheldon managed to get to it first and he touched her arm, making her turn once more.

"Oh, Penny, why do you have to make things so difficult? I am trying after all! Good Lord, you have no idea how difficult this is - Er, um, okay -" He stepped back, the bewildered woman simply staring at him, and then he patted her shoulder.

"There, there."

Penny's lips parted in surprise and she tilted her head a little at him.

"Sheldon, are you - actually trying to -"

"Penny," he interrupted, looking wary. "If your claim that most people can pick up on social cues to indicate discomfort within a conversation is valid, I ask you to prove it by ceasing your statement."

Cheeks flushed.

Adams apple bobbing.

"Furthermore, I wish for you to know that your - crying makes me very uncomfortable as well."

Penny's brows furrowed more. "Why?" She asked, folding her arms slowly. Sheldon shifted a bit.

"I suppose because my own mother cried so often."

Penny's eyes widened briefly, and then she reached up, curling her fingers at his chin and making him look at her.

"Sheldon.. You know not every relationship is going to turn out like your parents' did.. Right?"

Sheldon arched a brow. He hadn't even - told her - anything about his parents really, just made remarks here and there, how could she have possibly caught on when no one else had?

Penny's lips quirked a little at a smile.

It grew when Sheldon said very quietly, in a Southern drawl that rivaled his mothers - because she had said this so many times it was ingrained in his mind -

"Everything'll be alright, Penny.."

Penny's fingers curled at his narrow chin and brushed his throat as she pulled her hand down and gave a slow nod, smile still there.

"Yeah.. You're right." She turned and disappeared through the door.

And that was the very first time Sheldon Cooper caught a glimpse into the Mirror of Erised.

Xxx

Sheldon's entire purpose behind leaving Penny, something he couldn't communicate to anyone else because they simply would _not listen, _was because he wanted to know if the way he'd felt with Penny was the common factor, so to speak, in the endless numeric equations of the world. He was afraid that, due to his own lack of experience, his feelings for Penny were identical to that of men in any other generic relationship. He had nothing to compare it to, and without further data, how could he really know?

Penny seemed so sure, and perhaps that bothered him more than anything, because she had no doubts. Penny never seemed to have any doubts, Sheldon reflected.

And yet he always seemed to be second-guessing himself.

Not about - education or physics and certainly not about religion - but about the things that were foreign and complicated to him, things like being in relationships, even platonic ones. He found himself so baffled by them that he wasn't sure he could properly categorize first love, puppy love, friendship, devotion, so on and so forth because God, all of them were so long and drawn out and he'd much rather deal with them in the numerical context rather than "by the tune of his heart" as his mother said, the crazy old woman.

If Sheldon Cooper had given God - Or Issac Newton - a call and special-ordered a significant other, it would probably come out just like Ramona. Pretty, but not too pretty as to garner attention from other men, intelligent, but not more intelligent than Sheldon (as if), utterly adoring of him (there was no other end to this - It was all or nothing), and all of these things she pretty much was.

And she never did stupid things, like decorate his door or throw his clothes in the Salvation Army dumpster, or call his mother when he refused to go to the local physician because he just _knew _that medical license had been forged, he could tell from the detailing in the border!

And she never - rubbed her toes on his in bed, or winked at him from across the room just to see him blush. She never hopped onto his desk after he'd been working for hours straight, threw her long legs around him, and kissed him until he totally and completely forgot what in the hell he was doing.

She never.. Did any of that.

Why did Sheldon hate her for it?

Xxx

"Ramona."

"Yeah, Shelly-Welly?"

His forehead hurt from how deeply his brows furrowed at the nickname. Of all the atrocious things - and he'd thought his _mother _was bad - but Sheldon simply cleared his throat and continued.

"Ramona, I do not wish to continue a relationship with you any longer."

Ramona looked up from the book she'd been reading, her eyebrows lifting in surprise. She gave a small, hesitant smile.

"What - What are you talking about? Why in the world would we do that? Everything we have is so - perfect."

Perfectly flawed, Sheldon thought, steeling himself to face her. He shifted on the couch.

"Ramona, you have proven to be a more than adequate girlfriend, I assure you. However, you are not - the person with whom I wish to be."

Ramona's eyes instantly narrowed and she snapped her book shut, setting it aside.

"You mean… Penny?"

".. Yes."

Ramona gave a little scathing chuckle.

"Uh, don't you think you should at least - I dunno - ask her to take you back before you dump _me_?"

Sheldon blinked at her. Then he slowly shook his head and stood. "No," he said, his tone almost clinical. "Even if Penny does not accept my sincere apologies and what I will essentially be forced to label as groveling, I know that I cannot be content with you. I will take the chance of being alone over having any obstacle inhibiting my chances to be with Penny once more -"

"The only obstacle inhibiting your chances, Sheldon, is that you're brilliant and amazing and she's stupid -"

"Penny is _not _stupid -"

"Oh, come on, Sheldon, she doesn't know a - a quantum laser for one of those little portable ones you use to mess with cats!"

"Get. Out."

Ramona blinked, looking affronted at his suddenly firm voice. She saw him swallow, and she tried to open her mouth again, but blue eyes narrowed at her and she took a step back. He was serious.

"Sheldon, I -"

"Penny is not stupid," Sheldon interrupted, fingers curled at his sides as he looked away.

"I am."

Xxx

They came as suddenly and loudly as an alarm clock jarring you from a pleasant night's sleep - those three successive knocks, followed by the smallest voice she'd ever heard Sheldon Cooper use, her name barely audible -

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"Penny."

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"Penny."

At first, she thought she might be imagining it. Wouldn't be the first time, Penny noted bitterly, from where she sat on the aqua colored couch. Her apartment looked - well, even worse than it had before she'd become friends with the guys. She'd had zero initiative to clean it.

Or do anything, for that matter.

Finally, once she'd realized the knocks were real, she stood slowly and made her way to the door, feeling her bones creak with the effort because she'd spent the last few months sitting in essentially the same position on her couch, facing the television.

When she saw Sheldon standing there, her hand tightened on the door knob. Sheldon almost winced - Penny looked like she'd been through hell and back. Like that time she'd gotten addicted to gaming, but there was no food or anything on her shirt, because apparently she'd been eating very little. She'd lost weight, he noticed with more than a touch of shame.

And yet if her appearance suggested desperation, her expression negated it harshly.

"What?" She asked flatly, her tone seeming to imply that - well, she didn't want to deal with this shit today. Sheldon blinked at her and then shifted, trying to find the words he'd come up with before.

"Penny, I.. I wished to - let you know that I .. I ended my relationship with Ramona."

Penny stared. Her tone was flat enough to eat off of.

"_Fantastic_."

Sheldon did wince this time. He had expected this. He had expected it long ago, in fact, because he knew that he'd deserved it from the very beginning.

"Penny.. I ended my relationship with Ramona because the data that I gathered helped me to conclude that.." He swallowed, trying not to lose his nerve while Penny, the woman he'd had sex with, slept next to, spent days upon days upon days with and yet never got bored with, she was standing that staring at him like he was the scum of the Earth.

Which was not an inaccurate observation, Sheldon thought warily.

".. I have concluded that what I had with you was .. Essentially equivalent to the flight of Haley's Comet."

A long pause.

"Once in a life-time," Sheldon clarified, just as Penny scowled.

"I know that, Sheldon," she said flatly, and then she turned, stalking away from the door. Sheldon stepped inside the door cautiously, closing it behind him.

"Penny -"

"No, Sheldon, just - just shut your hole, okay?" Penny rounded on him, matted hair swinging in her face, troubled green eyes glinting. "Do you know how fucking hard it was for me? I - I spilled my guts to you like I'd never, ever done for a guy, and you decided to go and - gather more _data?" _

Sheldon tensed. "I simply wished to give you as honest an answer as I was able, and given that I had never entered into a relationship before -"

"Sheldon, there are some things you just - have to know, okay? Some things that don't need evidence, some things that you can feel, here - " She shoved a hand against his chest and he stumbled back. Tears poured down her cheeks.

"And if you - you didn't know it for a fucking _fact -" _

"Penny -"

"I loved you, Sheldon!"

"And I felt the same!" Sheldon returned, looking insulted. Then he paused, taking a step back and breathing in deeply. He looked away, and Penny swallowed and folded her arms.

"I just.. Don't see how you could prove that to me, after all this shit you put me through."

Sheldon watched her carefully, and after a long moment, he gave a nod.

"You are.. Probably correct, Penny," he said finally, hands behind his back, fingers tightly laced together. Penny turned, thinking the conversation to be over. But then Sheldon spoke again, his voice - firmer, now.

"But I do ask that you read a letter I wrote to you."

Penny slowly turned, arms folded, eyes staring.

"What letter?"

Sheldon shifted, looking up at her, meeting her gaze readily. "It is one that I penned the night of our - break up. After our conversation, I could not place the source of my uneasiness, so I wrote a letter and left it under your mattress when I came back for my things."

Penny's eyes flickered. "How do I know you didn't - just write it today, huh?"

Sheldon raised a brow. "It was written on my desk pad," he said, giving her a Look. "They're all dated in black bold print at the top!"

".. Of course they are," Penny said dryly. "Fine, I'll read it, but not until you leave."

Sheldon gave a slow nod. "Fine," he said, turning slowly and putting a hand on the door knob. He hesitated for just a moment. And then he opened it and disappeared.

Penny watched the door for a long moment before she turned and wandered into her bedroom. She half didn't believe Sheldon's words, that he'd written her a - note, just before all of this crap. But when she slipped her hand under the mattress, it brushed paper, and he was right, the damned genius. It was on his dated memo pad paper.

For almost an hour, Penny just sat and stared at the folded paper, and then finally she settled back against her multi-colored pillows and opened it with trembling fingers. Her eyes followed Sheldon's neat scrawl and she felt herself falling.

Xxx

_Penny, _

_It's Sheldon. _

_I spent several hours - seven point five, to be exact - trying to determine the best way to go about handling the situation I have put myself in. I find that, in your absence, it is more difficult to think than I had originally anticipated. Given that thinking has been all I have ever done, I find this quite alarming, and wish for you to know that I blame you fully for corrupting my mind. _

_All of that aside, I finally decided to compose a letter to you, one that I would allow you to read upon the inevitability of what I am certain must be a mistake. _

_And yet, as with many great minds, I am burdened by my own intellectual curiosity to discover the full depth of what you and I seem to have. _

_Love, I know, is the appropriate label for it; however, I also love my mother, MMORPG's, and being the best at Wii Bowling. So how am I to distinguish these things, how am I to characterize them properly? _

_In all honesty, I may come to fully understand this knowledge. It is quite possible that no human ever has, if history of human relationships is any indication. Still, you told me this very evening that you loved me more than anyone else you had ever been with, and with that, I felt an instant responsibility, not only to reciprocate but to do so earnestly. In order to keep from allowing myself to continue on in a relationship role that I was not able to properly fulfill, I felt that ending our current relationship would spare you a surmountable bit of disappointment. _

_As usual, my emotional decisions were deluded, and judging from your reaction, I can only say that I now must certainly complete and order my task well enough to make this situation worth your discomfort and pain. _

_Even as I write this, I find it difficult to believe that our situation was ideal, and yet I cannot tell you that it is unique unless I know for certain that it is so. I cannot lie to you, Penny, and I hope to never have to make the attempt. _

_In keeping with this idea of honesty, I feel obligated to tell you that I love you. I have never had the experience of telling this to a woman (aside from my mother), so I find it difficult to believe, but impossible to deny. _

_Your physical attractiveness is only the barest hint of what you offer. You understand me and cater to me, and yet you constantly challenge me in ways that I occasionally find annoying and yet never cease to benefit from. Your habits have become quirks that compliment your personality, and while I still find myself unable to follow your train of thought from time to time, I enjoy watching you lose track of it, too. _

_Penny, if I were to never care for another human being in this world, I would be able to survive solely on what you give me, which is remarkable both in quantity and quality alike. _

_How you have managed to become - this - to me is yet another question I cannot answer. Perhaps that is what disturbs me the most about you, Penny. _

_You make me question so many things.. And then become uncaring of the answers. _

_I will leave you with this thought, which I find most poignant and rather impressive when I reflect on how it is actually my own. _

_You have successfully made me re-evaluate everything I have ever desired in life, from the tiniest molecule to the largest solar system, in a way that makes me grateful - and certain - for the first time in my life that I am truly, completely human. _

_I pray - yes, _pray - _that, as you read this, it is with me by your side because I have managed to relieve my burdened mind and proceed forward with my life in a way I have not yet managed in thirty years time. _

_I love you, Penny. Forgive my trespasses. I swear on Newton's grave that everything will be alright. _

_- Sheldon Cooper _

Xxx

Six months, two weeks, and four days later.

".. to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?"

"I do."

"You may now kiss the bride."

Sheldon leaned over to Penny, hand closed over hers, and whispered in a whine. "Good Lord, can we go now? If I have to see Wolowitz shove his tongue down Bernadette's mouth one more time, I'll lose those little ham sandwiches I consumed earlier. At your advice, if I may remind you," Sheldon said with a lifted brow.

Penny smirked and just looked forward, watching Howard and Bernadette scurry down the aisle, the man's wild mother practically sobbing in the front row. Penny knocked her shoulder against Sheldon's and grinned, glad they were in the third row back. Sheldon tried to suppress one in return, but Penny's squeezing hand over his made it slip.

"Oh, for heaven's sake, his mother is practically creating a new Panama Canal in the middle of the aisle," Sheldon said, looking aggrieved. Penny snickered.

"Oh, sweetie, like your mom wouldn't be doing the same," she said, rolling her eyes. Sheldon's lip twitched a little and his hand tightened on hers, blue eyes scouring the crowd of both familiar and unfamiliar faces.

His free hand slipped into the pocket of his tuxedo, fingers twitching over a velvet box there.

"Indeed.." he agreed in a murmur, glancing over at her with that slight quirk of his lips. Penny looked over at him curiously.

"Indeed she will."


End file.
